A product release issued by my imagination: Tired of waiting in line for Meditech’s Release 6? Well, hold on to your britches, ‘cause the ride’s starting again: Boston has just announced Release 7!

The details:

• Dates: Scheduled to be GA (Generally Arguable) in 2020, orders are being taken now, prioritized by the order of the magnitude of the deposit. Meditech’s 6,000+ U.S. hospitals are being given first choice to sign up, followed be their 8,000 international clients …

•  Programming Language: The original code name was “Measles,” a logical successor to MUMPS, but it turns out this name is copyrighted, so instead it’s being called NLT (Neal’s Latest Thing).


• Applications: First modules being programmed is Accounts Payable, followed by Fixed Assets, to gain from the incredible 40+ years experience with these Magic apps and enable “meaningful use” with GAAP.


• Future Releases: It is estimated that one full application will be developed per year, so that the roughly 40 apps now available in Magic C/S should be completed by 2060, pending no major technical hurdles.


• Consulting Partners: Classes are being given now to Meditech’s “Magicians” (the 20-odd consulting firms who specialize in implementing Meditech), so they can assist in the strenuous sales and
marketing effort to foist this over on U.S. hospitals.


• Features: EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE! Release 7 will do away with keyboards, but will rely on voice recognition in Release 7A, and adding mind-reading in Release 7B, currently scheduled for the next 
millennium …


• Costs: Release 7 is being programmed in 128-bit architecture, so it can handle the large license fees it will cost, plus the 8-9 figure “consulting” fees charged by Meditech’s “partner” implementation firms.


• Implementation Personnel: Taking a page from the Boston Celtics, Meditech will no longer restrict its recruiting efforts to Boston College graduates, but will start recruiting from Boston high schools as well, to insure an adequate supply of experts are available for client hospitals to train.

 

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